Thursday, February 24, 2005

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani

According to the greogorian calendar, i turned 28 on the 22nd. Yesterday was Dik Ja's birthday, today is Aris's birthday and friday is Leo's. Praise Allah for giving me life and giving me rezki non stop. Even more tahn what my parents could give me.

Last night was my PC for TEST, due to a football match between Selangor and Pahang, only Oda and Razif came (the PRess people) but Alhamdulillah, everything went on fine, Alhamdulillah.

I have this very mellow feeling deep in my heart, my heart is calling for me to find out more on how to perform the Umrah. I wonder when is my call.

would update l8er. Have to go to main campus and do make up for a friend.

updated some pics at my fotopage. enjoy.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah Maha Mengasihani


thats all I could Say, but I am glad to know Allah is there when i need Him most. Allah listens to my cries.Allah knows me best. Allah is everything to me. I know how I have behaved for the past 28 years of my life, and for the past 21 yeras, i was not being a good servant to Allah......however am i going to catch up with those lost years, only Allah knows best.

Am i childish? in a way yes, I am not the conventional type of person one expects me to be. I want to be myself, I want to face the remainder years of my life to be me, at Allah's will of course.

Let me be myself, I ont want to be a hypocrite, Allah knows best what is in my heart and mind, because i was created and given life by Him, The Allmighty.

I am just lost for words.

Do I need people in my life? yes I do, but let me make those decisions now, selagi aku sendiri tak belajar cara nak hidup, macam mana aku nak hidup. aku selesa dgn life aku sekarang, Alhamdulillah, Puji-Pujian bagi Mu Ya Allah.

Aku tak nak cakap besar, dan Allah maha mengetahuinya, tapi slahke aku nak pilih jalan idup aku sendiri? buat apa yang aku suka, lantak le apa orang lain nak kata kan, yang pasti, selagi Allah membuka jalan untuk aku, aku terima dengan redha, redha yang amat sangat. Sakit pening aku, semua aku pohon pada yang Esa untuk memberi kelapangan sedikit atau meringan sedikit, maybe aku terlalu banyak menzalimi diri aku sendiri, kerana Allah tidak akan menganiayakan Bani Adam!


nak kata aku give up, tak jugak. Aku still ada keinginan nak siapkan apa yang tergantung, tapi hati aku tak tergerak langsung. Maybe ada something bigger for me in the future? Wallahu alam. hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.

currently aim aku tak tahu lah, aim aku nak kebahagiaan di akhitrat kelak, which I think i am not to judge myself, as Allah is most Righteous to judge me. kenapa la aku dok fikir pasal akhirat aje sekarang? Aku nak pulang kepada Pencipta aku dan balas balik jasa dan keikhlasanNya tanpa batasan yang dikurniakan kepadaku selama ini.

Ya Allah. aku hanya berserah pada Mu Yang Esa. Tunjukkan aku jalan Mu ya Allah, dunia akhirat. sesunguhnya apa diantara langit dan bumi adalah milikMu. termasuk aku.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Dengan Nama Allah yang Pemurah, Maha Mengasihani

It had been a week of tears, joy and happiness for me, last Monday, me and my students managed to pull off a cultural fashion show for a soft launch of a programme at my Uni, and on Tuesday, my 12 day old niece, Sofia, had left the world, mat I or may not I see my niece again? Wallahu alam bissawab, only Allah knows best. I kept my promise to Nana to do her up for her engagement on Wednesday (CNY day 1) and starting on Thursday, I was busy sewing Fairus's and Carols costumes for Stepping Out which opened on Saturday Evening at the MTC.

Really had fun and it was really pleasurable to work with Malaysia's future calibre and professional dancers, hope to meet them up again sometime for other productions.

On Sofia's passing, it is hard to explain, but Allah again showed His powers, Sofia was buried just a few steps away from my grandparents graves at the Kampung Tungku Muslim cemetary. Non of my family members knew where Sofia would be put to rest at the cemetary....

I also just bought Ning's new album, after hearing Senang Tari...which was used by Fairus for his piece, written by Farihin and lyrics by Ain..... how beautiful the lyrics and melody till I could shed a tear, and Fairus's choreography itself was very powerful, the gestures and poses, all screaming information to the audience.

by Allah's Will, I also realised, that the pink songket corsets I used for Fairus's piece....was the exact number of corsets I made for my final year year collection. Subhanallah! Allah had planned everything for me in future, he he he...Alhamdulillah for that :)

Ya Allah,
i do not know how to thank you enough,
for all your rezki that you have bestowed upon me Allah,
for all the things that brings joy and happiness on my short time in the land between the skies and earth,
Allah, the Greatest!!

Asyhadu ala ila haillah
wa asy hadu ana Muhammad rasul Allah.