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Fifi mula menari kembali! thanks to Hairi for the pic. :)

Salam.

Huih, banyak tul sawang kat blog aku nih. Lea, bak mai penyapu sawang tu sat.. nak clearkan sawang2 yang ado ni.

just to flush out my emotions at the moment.

Andai Aku Pergi, Izinkan ku pergi.

If i was ever to leave this world now, number one, I want to leave and meet my creator prepared, thing is, I dont know how prepared I am to face HIM.

I want to leave this world in peace, and by saying the Syahadah. I am a muslim, I profess that there is no God other than ALLAH, and Muhammad (PBUH) is His messenger.

I want to leave this word as quickly as I could, so that i dont have to do little 'destructions' to myself and to the environment.

I do not want people to remember me after i've gone. I dont want anybody shedding a tear when I go, well, I cant deny the fact that God gave everyone diferrent levels of emotions for every thing that we go thru in life.

Please dont freak out reading this entry ye. Im just flushing things out of my system. I think I've drifted away from HIS path. It is VERY SCARY.

at the moment I am chatting with a friend in East Malaysia. We kinda share the same thoughts. I've got his permission to paste parts of the conversation.

Nur M. Taib: tah la

Nur M. Taib: sometimes aku fed up being like this

Nur M. Taib: nafsu diberi keutamaan

Nur M. Taib: aku tak nafi

Nur M. Taib: kebelakangan ni, ibadah ke mana, nafsu kemana

Nur M. Taib: i feel quite low

Nur M. Taib: i've been muhabasing myself this past few days

Nur M. Taib: aku rindu kat DIA

Nur M. Taib: aku rindu dikejutkan DIA di sepertiga malam

mxxxxx : aku pun...kita ni fifi..cuma satu je..tak tahan dgn godaan syaitan...Allah nk uji kita....tp syaitan tu kuat menghasut....kalo kita lawan...aku rasa kita akan jd org yg paling baik atas dunia ni kan....(tolak la nabi dan alim ulamak la)

Nur M. Taib: aku rindu belaian DIA, walaupun aku tahu, aku been getting HIS attention every second in my life.

Nur M. Taib: hehe

Nur M. Taib: bole tak aku copy opaste ape yg kita cht kan ni?

mxxxxx : dugaan kita ni amat hebat

Nur M. Taib: sangat

mxxxxx : k..jangan buat pameran dh la

kaedahnye, mmg aku buat pameran. Hehehe.

Nur M. Taib: nak letak kat blog je mxxxxx: sebenarnya...aku kat smua tu untuk aku...sebab aku tahu...aku terlalu mengikut nafsu....bukan aku suka jd mcm ni...bila time aku nk stop/taubat...naluri itu dtg menggoda...itula yg dikatakan Allah: Adakah cukup dngan hanya berkata aku beriman...sedangkan iman itu tidak diuji... mxxxx: aku selalu mohon dengan Allah...ujilah aku dgn benda lain...bukan dgn "naluri" mxxxx: k....ko padam la nama aku mxxxx: mcmla msg aku ni bagus sgt mxxxx: ni nasihat untuk diri aku sendiri fifi

Well, encik Mxxxxx i dah coverina ur identitas :)

Same goes with me my friend. Same goes with me. I am living what has been scripted for me. NO REGRETS and NO TERKILANS. Having those two feelings makes me feel as if I am going against HIS will.

In a few hours, Malaysia would celebrate it's 50th year of independence. Would tehre be another 10? or another 40? Wallahualam. Only ALLAH knows.

Once we are comfortable, we would want to be more comfortable, that is human nature. But the way of getting more comfortable tu yang buat kita tersasar jauh. Nauzbillahiminzalliq.

So, selamat Ulangtahun ke 50 MALAYSIA. Syukur Alhamdulillah aku dilahirkan di tanah Malaysia. Syukru kehadratNYA disini aman. Namun, sedarlah, ini semua UJIAN untuk kita.

How MERDEKA are we and are we that MERDEKA? Wallahualam. Im happy happy and happy. I just want to celebrate this on a low key note. It is history, and who does not want to part of it. So if guys are going outto celebrate it tonight, try to be moderate :)

Ok, nak sambung keje dah. Feel lighter after offloading them here, on my blogspot. Looks like theres still sawang here and there.... hehehe... u ols kalau nampak sawang tu, tlg la sapu2kan yek?

Jazakallahu Khairan