Sunday......2.3.2003

Wanted to leave by 9-ish...but when I tried calling security...no one picked up the phone....about 11ish I manage to catch hold...and the guard gave me a spare key. Need to see bursar tomorrow.

Well, Went to Zandy's at abt noon. So Re re installed my windows. Went straightt to Anis's after that. Anis was preparing lunch, and had lunch there. Well, quite a relaxed day for me today. Nik came at about 5.30, rushed with her make up....After she went off to Walimar (i think so) me and Oja went to Kebab Mahal to have kebab. Never tried their kebab before. Well, it was GOOD...had mango lassi to go with it.

Got back to Anis's, and watched vcd...Well...very relaxing day actually...

Anyway, about 2 AM this morning i called home. Just to receive news that my sis is probably getting enganged in April AND I WONT BE THERE TO WITNESS IT!!!! well...still mixed with emotion...The wedding might be in September. I dont think I'll be able to go back home by then....Well, quite upset because her wedding would probably be the last wedding (last daughter) and I had always dream to prepare everything. Well...writing this is making me feel so UPSET! SO BLOODY UPSET!

My parents planned to visit me in summer. Dad said, since my sister is getting married, they might not make it to Edinburgh. Erm.....when all my other siblings were abroad, they'd travel all the way to visit them? and me? hmmm.....I wonder if u guys feel what I'm feeling now. Everything has to happen at this time, this moment. Moments that's meant to be shared. Well...cant win all the time right?

My mom hoped that i would not be SORE about it.well, it's obvious that I AM SORE! quite frustrated though...and upset. Well, i guess thats life. Win a few...lose a few. Just dont feel like doing anything. Felt quite down. Well....dont want to say much. I know I am such a drama queen. Things might change, but i am still upset about my parents not soming to visit me. They had planned the visit since September, before i left for the UK. Deep inside me, I really want to make up time with my parents at this stage of my life. Well, i guess it has turn to ashes though. U know HOW MUCH malay weddings cost right? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

hidup ni kita tak tahu bile akan tamat. Rahsia Allah. Ajal maut semua atas kehendakNya. niat hati nak kongsi keindahan bumi Allah ini dengan 2 insan yang benar2 aku sayangi, dapat berkongsi dgn diri ini...dapat merasa bagaimana diri ini berada di tempat orang. Aku hanya mampu berserah. Well, call me a drama queen....call me anything...because it's me. Malas nak buat ape2...better aku lepak n tido. Esok another long day. Anyway, i'm 26....motif?

Wassalam